PROBABLY NOT EVER GOING TO LET MY HUSBAND RETIRE!!!!!!!!

We are very far from retirement age but I can see my husband doing some of this just for fun.  Hope you laugh as much as I did.

PROBABLY NOT EVER GOING TO LET MY HUSBAND RETIRE!!!!!!!!
Your laugh for the day --What a retired husband does...**


Got this from a friend, thought that you would enjoy it.

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to
Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and
preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like
most women - she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the
following letter from the local Target.

Dear Mrs. Springer,

Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in
our store.. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban
both of you from the store.. Our complaints against your husband, Mr.
Springer, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance
cameras.

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other
people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
intervals.

3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the
women's restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice,
'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee
to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her
Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing
management to lose time and costing the company money.

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on
layaway.

6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the
children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and
blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying
and screamed, ' Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were
called.

9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a
mirror while he picked his nose.

10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he
asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming
the ' Mission Impossible' theme.

12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look'
by using different sizes of funnels.

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through,
yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he
assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

And last, but not least:
15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile,
then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of
the clerks passed out.

22 or 23 weeks (depending on which due date you use

Life has been supper crazy. We have finally finished the living room (well, almost I still have about 20 min. of touch up painting.) It is very nice to have a living room again. I cannot tell you how much I missed just relaxing on the couch.

Also, I am getting bigger and bigger, I am 22 to 23 weeks depending on which due date you want to use. It is really cool to feel our sweet baby move. I have to say that its a weird but very cool feeling. My husband is now able to feel her move, Yes I said HER. I don't think I have put that on here yet. But we found out we are having a wonderful little girl. It is going to be a huge adventure. She already has her Dad and both of her Grandpa's wrapped around her little finger. I'm sure that all she will have to do is ask and it will be hers.

We are going to go with the colors green and brown for the nursery. We haven't got it done yet but it will be. We still have time. Plus after all the work we have done on the living room I'm just not ready to get started on the nursery. It will be much faster really all I have to do is paint. Now, Johnathen will have to replace the window but he had practice in the living room. So it shouldn't be to bad. I know that it will sneak up on us and I will be trying to get it all done, but for now I just need some down time.

Laughing Matters

My boss gave me a paper this morning that had this in it and I laughed. I can really see my Dad loving this.

Laughing Matters
Remembering Childbirth
Compiled by Susan Capps

Question:
Should I have a baby after 35?
Answer:
No, 35 children is enough.

Question:
I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
Answer:
With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Question:
What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
Answer:
Childbirth.

Question:
My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.
Answer:
So what's your question?

Question:
My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
Answer:
Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Question:
When is the best time to get an epidural?
Answer:
Right after you find out you're pregnant.

Question:
Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
Answer:
Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.

Question:
Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
Answer:
Yes, pregnancy.

Question:
Do I have to have a baby shower?
Answer:
Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.

Question:
Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
Answer:
When the kids are in college.

I hope this made you laugh I know that it did me.

Many Changes

Ok, so I know that it has been a really long time sense I have posted anything on here. (two months and a few day to be exact.)

My husband and I have some really big changes coming up. I am 17 weeks pregnant, and very excited. I am due August 10 and really can't wait. I am so ready to meet our little one. So far I have no idea what we are having but I know that it will be blessed. This baby has been very prayed for.

Next, we are re-doing our house. Well, at least that part that we haven't done yet. Right now we are working on the living room. It is taking up all of our spare time. We have re-sheetrocked, added insulation and are going to replace windows and put new carpet in the house. I am very excited about this also. I feel like I am getting a new house without having to pay closing costs.

We are getting ready for our new addition to the family and are very excited about all the changes that are happening. I can't wait to let ya'll all know what we are having. And when the living room gets done I will post some pics so you can see how pretty it looks. Also, we will start the baby's room as soon as the living room is done. So much work so little time.

Jaxon the Giraffe

I think this is one for my favs. It is kinda old but I noticed that I haven't uploaded it so here it is. I hope that everyone has a very Happy New Year. I know this year is bringing great changes to my little family. It is growing by one so we are very excited. I hope to spend more time on art this year but I think I say that every year so maybe someday I will get there. Anyway HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Merry Christmas

I hope that everyone has a very Merry Christmas. I just want to say how wonderful it is that we get to take time off work to be with our families and celebrate the birth of our Savior. Happy Birthday Jesus, you are the reason that we all celebrate. God is a amazing, we only see a small part off all the wonderful things that he does in our world. I challenge you this Christmas to see God in a way that you may haven't seen him in a long time. He sent his son for you and me.

Merry Christmas.

Canada Geese

I went to the park to eat lunch today because I love to sit there in the sun and watch the animals humans included and pray. Well this time of year we always get the Canada Geese. I love them. I love to listen to the talk to each other and fly and all that. I think that God is so amazing that he can make these little (ok big birds) fly half way around the world each year. So anyway while I was sitting there I got to spend some much needed time in prayer and then some time sketching. I had to post just a quick sketch of the birds that bring me joy. I'm not a big fan of this time of year everything turns brown and the wind blows but I love when I watch the geese. Happy Fall (just a little late.)